Friday, May 29, 2009

Chapped Lips?

HOW CAN I GET RID OF CHAPPED LIPS?

DO NOT keep putting chapstick on your lips! Get some petroleum jelly. It will seal your lips like a band aid. STOP licking your lips! That's the number one cause of chapped lips! Tisk tisk!

ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Apple Conspiracy

IS APPLE TRYING TO STEAL MONEY FROM PEOPLE BY HAVING A NEW IPOD OUT EVERY YEAR?

No. They are improving what they've already come up with. First they started making their ipods smaller and smaller, then they added colour screens, the video feature, and today we have things like games, the turn screen, full length movies, gps, and the shake feature. 
They are trying to come up with the best most advanced technology that they can. They are also trying to make their products as convenient as possible. They improve what they already have, to make it easier for you! 
Sorry if you just bought what you thought was the newest and best ipod out there yesterday and today there's a new one... but that's just how it is. If you want the next new one? Go get it! 

ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Feeling Lucky

WHAT IS LUCK?

Luck is not something that happens out of nowhere. That is what you call a miracle. Luck is when preparation meets opportunity. You have to be prepared and ready for what comes along. Then you will experience luck.

ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?

Old Men and Their High Pants

WHY DO OLD GUYS WEAR THEIR PANTS SO HIGH?

Well, some wear em that high (to the waist) because it's what they're used to. It was how people wore their trousers back in the day. Some wear them that high because they wear diapers. Diapers go up kinda high so in order to cover em, the pants have to be that high too.

ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?

Oli Sykes and Throat Cancer

DOES OLI SYKES HAVE CANCER?

No. He does not. 

WHY WOULD SOMEONE GET THIS IDEA?

From the song "Chelsea Smile":
I've got a secret.
It's on the tip of my tongue, it's on the back of my lungs.
And I'm gonna keep it.
I know something you don't know
.

So, I guess when people heard that Oli had been sick a lot and heard the lyrics "it's on the tip of my tongue, it's on the back of my lungs" they assumed he has throat or lung cancer.

ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?

Oli Sykes

WHO IS OLY SYKES?
 
He is the lead vocalist of Bring Me the Horizon. He is known for his tattoo-covered body. He also has his little clothing co. Drop Dead
Oli called me an alien once...  I had green hair and was wearing a green BMTH shirt. Haha, I guess I can't blame him.  
Personally, I like the band, BMTH. The lyrics can be pretty emo though. Here's an example:

A cherry sunset blossoms,
But we're not there to watch it fall,
On the vacant canvas, we should be waiting,
With our face down on the grass,
Staring till our eyes give way,
Let's paint this city black,
While the night's still young,

You,

This cherry sunset withers,
Our words, as frail as paper,
A dawn I thought we'd never see,
Alone, on this silent beach,
There is nothing we can do,
There is nothing we can do,

The sky, it burns itself out,
The sky, it burns itself out,
The sky, it burns itself out,
The sky, it burns itself,

The trees rot down to nothing,
Throats dry out and corpses fill the sidewalks,
These promenades, our graveyards,

The sky, it burns itself out,
The sky, it burns itself out,

There is nothing we can do,
The sky, it burns itself,
And I think we're all about to fucking die,

The trees rot down to nothing,
Throats dry out, and corpses fill these sidewalks,
These promenades, our graveyards,
Kneeling down on what's left, sacrificed upon doom's day,
Oh, if we could take it back and see one last twilight,

Take a picture, take a picture,
Take a picture, take a picture,
Take a picture,

Take a picture, take a picture,
Take a picture, take a picture,
It will last longer,

Our hands in prayer formation,
Our elbows on the bed,
One last try for Heaven,
Thinking who wants flowers when you're dead?,
You're dead,
When you're dead,

Cherry, cherry,
Cherry, cherry,

Cherry, cherry,
Cherry, cherry,

Cherry,
A cherry sunset

Voluminous Hair

HOW CAN I GIVE MY HAIR MORE VOLUME?

Easy! After you get out of the shower or finish washing your hair, spray your hair with hairspray while still wet. Put your fingers in your hair and shake it while it air dries a bit. Then turn on the hair drier and dry your hair upside down or pointing downward. Be sure to mess up your hair a bit while drying it, almost like you're teasing it. Once dry, bring your head up and use the drier to blow the hair in the right direction depending on where you want your part and bangs. After that your hair should have plenty volume, but you can tease it some more if you'd like it extra big.

ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?

Monday, May 18, 2009

Me Loves You

Me Loves Travy! <3

Popcorn Pee

WHY DOES SOME PEOPLE'S PEE SMELL LIKE POPCORN?

Well, it could either be that you have a weak kidney. This does NOT mean you have any kind of disease of kidney failure. It could just mean you need to stop drinking soda and energy drinks for a while. Get some yummy cranberry juice! 
Could also be something to do with your liver. Maybe you have jaundice. Well, when you have jaundice, there is nothing you can take to cure it. What you have to do is drink lots and lots of smoothies as well as barley water or tea, and eat tomato soup! No solids for a while and NO soda, energy drinks or alcohol! 
So really, just be more healthy with what you drink. And also maybe see a doctor to get your pee checked for infections and get your liver and kidneys checked too just in case. And pretty soon, that popcorn smell will go away!

ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?

ps. I don't have popcorn pee. Someone asked me that.. so I thought I'd answer it here just to make it all much more embarrassing! XD

OMG! He's Gorgeous!

WHAT SHOULD YOU DO IF YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP BUT MEET THE GUY WHO HAS THE PERFECT LOOK?

Well, that's a bit superficial, but really, there's not much you can do. If you are in a relationship... then that means you can't start another one, you can't hookup, makeout, kiss, or even flirt. Yes, flirting is cheating. You can look. Nothing more.

WHAT IF YOU CAN'T STOP PICTURING THE GUY? AND WONDERING WHAT HIS PERSONALITY IS LIKE?

Stop! Go get something to eat! Talk to your boyfriend! Think about how much your boyfriend really means to you! That guy you met, means nothing. You don't know him. And he definitely doesn't care about you like your boyfriend does. Then again...... if you are in a BAD relationship.... break up THEN get to know the new guy! Go for it!

ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?

Scientology

IS THIS A RELIGION I SHOULD JOIN?

It is if you feel that you need help in your life. If you are suffering from depression, this is perfect for you! They will help you straighten out your life and show you how to live better.
This is not something that I need, which is why I never went in to take their class. However, I did buy their book. It was like reading a kids book.. "happiness should come from within yourself!" Well, duh! 
Anyway, they are very pushy over in the scientology church. If you want someone to take charge for you and force you to make your life better... then you'll love this religion. As for me, I just got very annoyed with their phone calls and emails. 
Below is an email they sent me and  my reply:

To: joeysemtex@aol.com
Sent: Thu, 14 May 2009 2:07 pm
Subject: from Monika Sardella

Hello,
 
How are you?  I noticed that you have the book=2 0New Slant on Life.  That's a great book.  How is that going for you?  Have you read it yet?  What did you think of it?. 
 
By the way, what was your reason for getting it in the first place?
 
Best,
Monika Sardella
Director of Promotion and Marketing
(212) 921-1210
www.scientology.org
 
14 May 2009


MY REPLY:
Hi! I'm great! How are you?
I bought the book during a visit to the scientology church after I took a free IQ test and personality test. I wanted to do better on the IQ test since I knew that what I had got was not my best. (I am trying to get into mensa.) I was talked into buying the book after I asked someone how I could get a better score. I was told the book and a class would benefit me. 
So, I read the beginning of the book and some pages here and there to get an idea of what it's about. From what I read, it was all very obvious and made me go "seriously? are people so clueless that they need to read a book like this??" I feel that if this book could start a religion, that I could definitely start my own too. If this is the kind of thing people are looking for, as guidance, to help them in their lives, I could easily write a book like this myself. 
  I think it was interesting to read since I didn't know anything about scientology until the day I went to take the test. I'm thinking of going back to the beginning and reading it through. Not so much to benefit myself from the words in the book, but just to get knowledge of it. I feel that I'd rather not take a class on it since this is really not something that I need. I feel that the ideas in th is book  are for the weak, confused, depressed, unhappy, unbalanced and in need. I am none of those. I am happy. I am truly happy with my life. I will make something of it. I do not feel at all hopeless or like I will not succeed at my dreams. 

I believe that if you really truly want something more than anything else, you will get it/achieve it. Nothing is hopeless. The only thing that's missing in those that don't achieve to their full potential, is the want and drive to go through with it and not give up. If the person is willing to give up, then they just don't want it that bad.


Thank you, and be happy!
Josephine 

Feet Are Made For Walking

WHAT ARE FEET FOR?

We use them to walk, stand, run, dance, skip, play sports, etc etc... but some people use them in sexual ways. I find this very disturbing. Feet are sweaty, dirty, and smelly. I would never want to lick someone's feet. I don't see why people are into that at all. 
I had a photoshoot the other day. The photographer kept taking pictures of my feet. He told me "feet are the money maker" and that "all men love feet". I told him he was crazy. I even thought about asking for my contract back. I should have. It really bothers me some old guy is looking at pictures of my feet on the internet while knocking one out. YUCK!

SO WHAT ABOUT FEET TURNS PEOPLE ON?

Honestly, I have no clue. One thing I have noticed, however, is that people with a foot fetish are very obsessive over it. First thing they'll ask someone they just met is "do you have pretty feet?" or "let me worship your feet sometime?" But I guess that's just those that are open with it. I think once they face the embarrassment and get used to have that.. umm.. foot action.. they aren't afraid to ask for more. They'll even buy people shoes and pay em to be a foot slave.
Kinda disturbing if you ask me....

ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

The Miracle Pill

WHAT IS HYDROXYZINE HCL? 

I've been getting some terribly itchy bug bites lately. The allergic reaction to the bites seems to be getting worse and worse, and it just keeps getting more and more itchy! So I went to the hospital one night when I just couldn't take anymore of the burning itch. They prescribed Hydroxyzine HCl. It amazingly worked very fast! 
The next day I decided to do some research about the pills. I don't like to take anything without knowing the possible side effects. I found out that these pills also help with anxiety which is perfect because when you are experiencing a tormenting itch, of course you're going to feel anxious! Hydroxyzine also helps prevent nausea. That's always nice.

CAN I GET HIGH OFF OF IT?

Hydroxyzine isn't really the greatest thing to get high off of. It's an effective tranquilizer and sedative. So it pretty much just makes you fall asleep. Now, if you are looking for a pill to commit suicide.. well.. maybe. Especially since if you OD you won't throw up. In my experience with it, hydroxyzine has made me very tired at worst. I definitely give it a 10 for effectiveness in temporarily relieving itch. 

WHAT ARE THE ALTERNATIVES?

Well, I wrote this about hydroxyzine in particular... but, if you'd like to know what's the best itch relief alternative to taking pills, I recommend Itch-X gel. It's a topical anesthetic that unlike Lanacane or Cortizone cream, is a gel! It's an icy gel that numbs the itch right away. Plus I could've sworn I saw Lanacane in a lawsuit commercial "If you or a loved one has used lanacane recently and experienced... blah blah... then so & so may be able to help you win the cash you deserve!" 

ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?

Am I a Genius?

WHAT IS MENSA?

It's a society for smart people that was created in 1946. The only thing you need to qualify to join Mensa is an IQ score in the 98th percentile or top 2% . Age and race are not relevant. Recently, 2 year old, Elise Tan Roberts, has joined Mensa becoming their youngest member. CLICK for more.
Personally, I don't think the way they evaluated her was fair. I totally could have answered those questions when I was her age.... which is why I think I might try to join Mensa. 

WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS?

The benefits are pretty cool. You get plenty of special deals and discounts off of services including Bank of America, Edmund Scientifics, Free Spirit Publishing, Geico, Hertz, Office Depot, VPI pet insurance, as well as travel tickets and hotels (US Benefits).

HOW DO I JOIN?

All you have to do is take an official IQ test. They tell you what to do HERE.

ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?

Monday, May 4, 2009

Killing With Ice

COULD THIS BE THE PERFECT MURDER WEAPON?

Well, I was thinking. If someone kills using a block of ice.. there would be no murder weapon since it would melt. To make it melt faster, the murderer could even stick it in the shower and turn on the hot water. Bye bye evidence. I think it's smart, but personally would not try it since CSI finds everything!

ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?

Sluts and Thongs

ARE THONGS REALLY ONLY FOR SLUTS?

Back in the day, when I wore thongs, it was to get that special male attention. I wanted to be a little slutty to get guys to notice me. I wanted to be the bubble gum blonde with the pink thong sticking out. And that's exactly it. Thongs are not for the slutty, but for the wanna-bes who are not outrageous enough to go commando. 
The real sluts of today, are the ones who are always ready for some action. The girls who wear skirts with NO underwear are more easily accessible and ready to get the job done. Whereas, if you are wearing a thong, you are just trying to look slutty since it would take just as long to get off that thong as any other underwear.


THONGS VS NORMAL PANTIES

Well, those who wear normal underwear are not looking for that extra bit of attention. Thong girls most certainly are seeking something more. Thong wearers want to have that extra sex appeal. Some find it classy, but all in all, it just proves they are still immature. It's like that sad 22 year old that goes into Victoria's Secret and pushes aside the regular underwear going "Oooh, I'm much too mature to wear something like that! Bring on the see through strings and sequins and feather! It's time for me to be sexy!!" And that is what you call trying too hard.


GIRLS WEARING BOXERS?

When a girl wears boxers, she is obviously not trying very hard to look a certain way. Or maybe she is? Maybe she's going for that boyish look. Maybe she's embarrassed to show her guy friends that she actually is a girl and wants to remain "one of the guys". Or... maybe she steals those boxers from her boyfriend and then wears them to remind her of his gorgeous body and his huge... well, if you see a girl shopping IN THE STORE for boxers and she's not with a bunch of girly girls (which would mean she's buying them for her boyfriend) then she is obviously a lesbian and doesn't want ANY male attention what so ever.

ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?

Everyone is Different

DO OPPOSITES REALLY ATTRACT? OR ARE SIMILARITIES WHAT BRING PEOPLE TOGETHER?

Two people who are complete opposites, have nothing in common and will not be able to relate. I switched high school every year because I felt that I couldn't relate to a lot of people. There has to be a similarity, even if it's that they disagree about a common topic. I'm not talking long term relationship, I mean in order for two people to even talk.. there has to be something in common. Two people would not even meet if there was no similarity in their lives. Like if they are not at the same place at the same time they will never get to know each other.
When it comes to similarities and NO opposites.. well, that's just impossible too, because if you meet someone who is the same as you in every way, you might as well call them your clone. Everyone is different. Now, differences can help or ruin a relationship. If people are TOO different then they will not relate, and the same goes for people who are TOO much alike. 

NOW YOUR THINKING WHATTTT IS SHE TALKING ABOUT?

Example 1: Mike and Lucy are on vacation in the mountains. Lucy has agreed to go on this trip even though she can't stand the cold. While the two of them are out walking, Lucy gets cold. Mike, unlike Lucy, is fine with a little cold weather and offers her his scarf and gloves. Lucy sees Mike as a sweet guy based on that action and Mike is happy that he could be the hero and help Lucy out. Because of their differences, both are happy and will most likely have a great time on their trip since they were able to form this special little bond.

Example 2: Same situation except both don't like the cold. "Well, why did we come here in the first place?!!" Lucy yells as she tries to grab Mike's scarf and ends up strangling him on accident. 

Example 3: Same situation again, except this time both are ok with cold weather. They're tough people! They walk... They look around. They have a decent time, only it might just be a little boring. And after a long walk in the snow, they get back and talk about how great it is to have become friends!

So there you go! With a perfect mix of similarities and differences, opposites in SOME ways and exactly the same in some as well, two lucky people will be able to create a relationship tha lasts. 

ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?

Mexican Piggy Flu

SHOULD I BE SCARED THAT THE MEXICAN PIGGY FLU WILL ATTACK ME?

People are definitely overreacting when it comes to the swine flu. When I first found out about it, I immediately felt sick and thought that I was sick for sure. Of course, I was fine and the symptoms I experienced were caused by paranoia. When I got back from vacationing in Fireisland, there was a paper taped up on the elevator wall. It was a cut and paste of the online news saying that seven children who go to the school located on my block had gone home with a fever. That made me go into super panic mode and even though it was said that the children did NOT have the swine flu, I refused to leave me house for another four days.
Why are people so scared? It's just a flu, right? Well, yes it is... but this flu is different than any other flu the US has seen. It is a mix of human flu and animal flu. And because viruses are always changing, what makes this dangerous is that the cure we have now might not work as the virus continues to change. Who knows what will happen or how serious it could get...
As far as I know, there is no need to panic, and trust me I found that out the hard way after spending four days without sunlight, only eating instant noodles, granola and canned vegetables. It seems that the Mexican government allowing museums and libraries to reopen is proof that it DOES get better and things WILL be back to normal eventually. 


IS THIS FLU A BIOLOGICAL WEAPON? IS THIS A GOVERNMENT CONSPIRACY? 
No! No! No! You are very misinformed. The government is not trying to attack its own people. Trust me. If the government created this flu to wipe out a bunch of people, then why would they create a virus that is NOT deadly? Yes, people have died... but people die from everything, from cancer to stress to the flu to.. lots of other diseases. If they wanted to create a biological weapon to destroy people, why not create the new HIV rather than a new flu?

GENE SPLICING?  

The swine flu is a mix of flus because pigs can catch the flu from humans AND other animals. So what happens is a pig catches a flu from an other animal, then since humans CAN catch the flu from pigs, the mixed flu is transferred to humans. There is no gene splicing involved here. Just a bunch of pigs getting sick a whole bunch of times to make the flu we know as swine flu or H1N1 virus and then giving it to humans. 


ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?